My Nalgene bottle has a 7 on the bottom. Must be lucky!

I was flipping through Backpacker Magazine today while at work. I was researching food containers, mostly water containers. Well, it wasn't hard to determine what's the hot trend in water bottle these days. Plastic bottles has gotten everyone going crazy! It's the BPA that has everyone running to their local EMS for the latest aluminum water bottle. But MAKE SURE it's got an epoxy lining!

I can't get into the science and the studies because I don't know about all that. Personally I just don't buy in to the hype about plastic bottles at all. So, I'll give you my opinion from a "no facts" viewpoint.

1. If you watch the local news, ever, you're probably already cursing me out and compiling all the evidence that supports the BPA hype. That's because if you watch the local news you'll believe any line of bullshit that someone will feed you. This stuff is all over the news which leads me to believe it's bullshit.

2. Going along with my first point about local news, every so often a big scare comes out that has everyone running out to a retail store. That's where the bulb should turn on. The motive for, mostly, all of these big media scares is to break new products onto the market. Genius, scare people into buying more crap. Its perfect and free.

3. Water is hot! Everyone is getting natural and fit. People are buying less carbonated beverages and drinking more water. SO how do you make money off something that's free like water? Well first you tell everyone that their water is dirty. Then you convince them that if you don't put, your clean water, in these trendy new bottles it will become dirty.

4. Manufacturers can make Jonas Brothers aluminum bottles whereas those plastic bottles only come in assorted translucent colors. How boring.

My bottom line is that sure there's lots of studies and facts, but it's all too vague for me to believe. This is just the toxin of the year and next year we'll be told that banana peels can lead to blindness. The best article I've read on the subject, made a great analogy.

Remember the joke about the drunk who was walking back and forth below a street lamp? What did you lose, he was asked? My keys, came the reply. Did you drop them here? No, he answered, but this is the only place where there is light! Right now, the light is being cast on bisphenol A, while numerous hormone-like substances lurk in the darkness.

WE HAVE A LOT MORE TO WORRY ABOUT THAN BPA. There's a lot of horrible stuff out there and I'll bet there's not enough BPA in my water bottle to hurt me any worse than the exhaust coming out of your SUV. So I'll continue to use my Nalgene bottle forever. Why? Because it's really big and has measuring lines on it. It's virtually indestructible and it was cheap because of the recall. I'm not worried.

To everyone out there still rocking the Nalgene, don't give it up. You probably don't watch the evening news, like the Yankees, or believe the streets are unsafe. I'll bet you're not a racists either and for those things I salute you. Next time you see me and my green Nalgene say hello. We'll microwave some Tupperware and smoke a cigarette together.