stupid and wasteful things people do, but I should really change the title to WAYS PEOPLE IN MY OFFICE WASTE PAPER TOWELS AND WATER

They turn on the water and unroll 15 feet of paper towel upon entering the bathroom. They don't flush and then go to the sink, wash their entire upper body for 20 minutes, open the door with their elbows and then paint Purell all over their arms.

...are you serious?

For all 7 of you who read this, you know at least one person with a similar thing. Daily, I see a bunch and man - it ridiculous. Not only is it a huge waste of materials it's just a bad idea. Those same people who are afraid of touching anything public are the ones who are always sick.

As a bonus I'll describe how someone uses a stack of paper towels, in the kitchen, to grab a drawer handle, then picks up 15 packets of sugar and adds it to their coffee. Well I guess they are more confident that modern science will find a cure for heart disease and diabetes before the common cold.


George Carlin said it best:

The Hudson River was loaded with raw sewage. That's right, we swam in raw sewage. You know, to cool off. And back then the big fear was polio. Thousands of kids every year were dying of polio. But you know what, in my neighborhood, nobody ever got polio. No one. Ever. You know why? BECAUSE WE SWAM IN RAW SEWAGE. It strengthened our immune system. The polio never had a chance. We were tempered in raw shit. What are you going to do when some super virus comes along that turns your vital organs into liquid shit? I'll tell you what you're gonna do. You're gonna get sick and you're gonna die and you're gonna deserve it because you're fuckin' weak and you have a fuckin' weak immune system.

Germs are Ok!

stupid and wasteful things people do, especially at my office #5

Well well well, Tony. Aren't you perfect?

Not quite, while I do everything I can not to waste materials and natural resources, what I do occasionally waste is my time. Mostly by watching this video. I can't believe it doesn't have a million you-tube hits already, but it will. And in a month, when this is shown on some TV gossip show, you can remember who referred you to it when it had 14 hits (11 of which are mine - sadly)

Enjoy SWAAAAAGBUCKS

stupid and wasteful things people do, especially in my office #4

She ran the water for 6 minutes just to wash a container she threw away......I counted.

wow.

stupid and wasteful things people do, especially people in my office, #3

Take a paper cup, fill it with water, drink the water and throw out the cup....
Take another paper cup, fill it with coffee.

What the hell is that? Are the 6 droplets of water left in your cup going to contaminate your cup of watered down office coffee?! Coffee is water! That's it! It's just water that flows through a bunch of brown shit. Get a clue and start having a little consideration for something other than your weird obsession with wasting paper cups.

Dear company, If you would like to save money this coming year, please don't take away our yearly raises and just stop buying paper cups.

Oh, PS. You've worked here for 3 years! Bring in a damn coffee cup and rinse it out.

Wow, this really took a turn for the negative.

stupid and wasteful things people do, especially people in my office, #2

The good: I'm noticing more and more people bringing their lunches to work in their used plastic shopping bags.

The stupid: They just throw it away once they take their lunch out of it.

Come on folks, you know it's not trash. You've all seen that big bin in the entrance of your supermarket that says PLEASE RECYCLE YOUR USED GROCERY BAGS HERE. OR better still just bring a damn bag to the store.

stupid and wasteful things people do, especially people in my office, #1

The Good: They rinse out their reusable water cup before refilling it.

The Incredibly Stupid: They waste paper towels by drying the water in their cup before once again filling it with water!

David Holt

Prachute Stage for Radio 104.1

For some reason the video player is only half the size so you can only see one side of the video. For the full size just click the link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3whc0enYb_o

¿Te Gustan?

You would think that Chazz Palminteri would have a more impressive Wikipedia page.

Is it really necessary for there to be a warning on my jar of peanut butter that reads, “This product contains peanuts?”


Marianne caught me dancing to CCR at my desk again!

Bananalogue

It's funny, I really do miss eating a banana every day at 10 am
and no I didn't attempt to write a poem with a banana as a representation
of something falic.

Its just, I like the regularity of eating the same thing every day at the same time
And yes although It does make me regular but I was keeping in mind
other benefits.

Its strange, but trying to maintain health and eat the best I can
has made me the minority amoung those who judge the tube that's sucking them!
their lazy lapping.

But still, so I judge them too during water breaks and running laps
since I don't know how to rest other than 30 second snacks and shakes perhaps
an 11am banana.

I promise this will never be about poetry.

True Story: There is a television in my doctor’s office waiting room that only plays commercials for the drugs that he prescribes. That's not so absurd, but what's with the stadium style seating in the viewing area and popcorn vendor? Doesn't anyone see a problem with this?


One of my biggest fears in life is winning a contest where I receive a free dinner with a celebrity.



Hair Today, Bald Tomorrow
by me.

At one time there was fringe up there,
but now it's nowhere.

Yet I don't care, all that much,
There's a bit of glare
and it's smooth to touch.

It took just a few years to lose the fluff,
Sunk through my scalp
right past my scruff.

Now there's no need to own a brush,
gel, shampoo or pocket comb.
No need for any of that stuff
because now I have a beaming dome.

What once was lush had all disappeared,
It had had enough,
now I have no hair.

Office Edition

Dear immediate supervisor,
Do you have any idea how many times I actually use the bathroom everyday?

Whenever I send out a mass email I put everyone on BCC so my co-workers don’t think I rank them, but secretly I do.

Remember to empty the tray after each use, never attempt to stack more than 5 sheets of paper and keep the hinges well oiled. If you take care of your 3-hole-punch, your 3-hole-punch will take care of you.





Picture from treehugger.com Thanks!

I had an idea.

I know this is a lame blog post, but go to flippycat.com

I'm serious! Click and search around the site.

BLOG!!

In an effort to promote awareness of environmental issues I will print driving directions to the recycling center and staple a copy to every tree in the city.


I seriously consider about 25% of my thoughts. I think the rest are just filler.

Hey Mr. Banana
What do you say?
I’m hoping that you’ll turn yellow today.

OOOOOOOOOO Domino.....

Death of a Blog Again

You never hear anyone say, "That smells like Salisbury steak!" Although, I'm sure lots of people think it.

As we approach July 4th I always think about the UK. Over the course of a year over 60 countries celebrate their independence from them. No one likes a bully.

Last week we were discussing the book of Genesis. Someone asked, "what was the forbidden fruit in the garden of eden?" Someone else claimed it was desire. Another said unlawful pleasure . I say pomegranate.

many jams

The Death of a Blog

On google dashboard I follow about 8 different blogs. None of them have made a new post in over 10 weeks and I can't help but think that its all my fault.

When eye was vry young a woman names Mavis Beacontaught me how to type.looking back on it Inever checked her credentia;ls or even got aa reference.

Since my department has begun offshore knowledge transfer (outsourcing), my workload has doubled and I am being rewarded with mandatory overtime.

I wish this was a picture of my friend Brian Maresca in a Keith Hernandez costume.

Today's work-out

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The video is a little weird, but in case you were wondering...

"Where?!..What's that say? ...I can't read?!"

In case you don't know what I'm talking about from the quote in the title, it's bacon. Anyway, currently, I'm sitting in the training room in Chennai next to Karthik, one of the trainees. He's becoming one of my good friends although we can barely understand one word the other says.

Karthik is learning guitar, but has never heard someone else play guitar before. He also doesn't know any famous guitar players. I'd imagine this makes learning guitar very difficult, but perhaps not. Since he has no preconceptions it may be fresh and easy to pick up.

Yesterday, I taught him about Jerry Garcia and Tony Rice. He liked both.

Today, look over out of the corner of my eye I see he's reading, with the greatest attention, the Wikipedia page for bacon. I couldn't help, but laugh out loud. I asked why he was reading it and felt stupid when he replied simply, "I don't know what it is."

I guess it's the same as when I read the Wiki page for Genesha. I learn a lot more in Chennai than the names of Gods and spices.

Happy Birthday Allen

Happy Birthday to Allen Ginsberg. Today he would be 93 which is really old.



On pg 64 of Indian Journals, there's a letter to Jack (Kerouac I assume) that is a perfect description of my life everyday for the past 11 days and next 12.



India flowing past the train window with huge plains & palm trees & cows & people shitting in the grasses & washing with their loin cloths in muddy rivers & waterbuffalos & the Ghats mts in the heat haze way off.



I ate a piece of cake with my lunch.

Why the funk not?

So basically Bootsy Collins declared that funk goes back to the begining of time. Bootsy is right! For this reason he has opened Funk University, an online degree program for bassists. I really can't think of a reason not to enroll in the program. As Bootsy said, "you gotta bring some funk to get some funk." So funk it, i'm brining it.

..seriously if I had money to blow on anything it would be The Bootsy Collins Funk University

http://www.thefunkuniversity.com/

"Its not about just playing a bunch of notes" Bootsy Collins